[Closed for crowdad1] Sleepless Nights

[azuhi]

Asahi isn't sure that he has ever been this tired in his entire life. A combination of the restless nights that led up to Nationals and the exhaustion after the first match of the tournament have Asahi sure that he would be out like a light in no time flat.

Sure enough, when he tucks himself into his futon that night, he's drifting off before his head hits the pillow. But even though his body is bone-dead tired, his mind is racing. He can't stop replaying moments from that day's matches, and from the footage Coach Ukai had shown them of their next opponents....

He hears shuffling from a nearby futon, and pauses. That's... Daichi's, he's pretty sure. Normally he wouldn't speak while everyone's trying to sleep, but lately their captain's been especially high-strung... Plus, he was usually the type to conk right out.

"Dai...?" Asahi whispers softly. "You okay?"

Comments

[azuhi]

It takes Asahi's mind a moment to reorient itself; when he heard Daichi say "firsts," his brain went somewhere completely different. And it's not as if Daichi and Suga haven't always seemed especially close...

But then he figures out Daichi's just talking about the trouble making headache players.

"Well, I don't think he was as much of a headache to our senpai as some of the current players are to you," he points out, feeling a little guilty for betraying some of the first and second years, but also kind of amused. "Unless you just have a much shorter temper than they did."

[crowdad1]

Daichi's mind is a million miles from that path. Probably (?) for the best.

"I don't... think so?"

His breath curls white in the air.

"I hope not. I want them to listen. Not be some kind of ogre."

[azuhi]

"Don't start doubting yourself now," Asahi teases, shaking his head. "You got us to Nationals, Daichi. You made our dream a reality. You're incredible."

He reaches up and gently squeezes Daichi's arm.

[crowdad1]

Finally, the comfort begins to settle in. Seeps through Daichi's reeling thoughts. Settling them.

It takes him a while to realize his own hand has drifted up.

Covering Asahi's.

[azuhi]

It's somehow... flustering. Having Daichi's hand lain over his own so earnestly, with such a heartfelt look in his eyes. Or, well, maybe 'heartfelt' is not a good word. But there is sincerity there, like Asahi's words have gotten through to him, and -- ahhh--

"A-Are you feeling better now?"

[crowdad1]

"Ah - I think so."

Wow. Daichi sure has kept his hand there a long time. But if he just snatches it back, is that rude? Casual. Right. It isn't a big deal. After three years of playing, hugs aren't a big deal. This is - fine!

And - for some reason - He does not particularly want to let go.

"Sorry."

[azuhi]

Oh. And now they're hugging. Asahi yields to it after just a moment of hesitation, and holds Daichi tightly. He knows Daichi isn't a very emotionally intelligent person, and wouldn't be surprised if even Daichi himself didn't realize just how stressed out he'd been. If a hug is what he needs to feel more grounded, Asahi is more than happy to give it to him.

"Don't be sorry," he says kindly. "S'okay."

[crowdad1]

It does seem to be having benefits. Like warmth. Making the air easier to pull in. This is the first really deep breath Daichi's managed since coming out here.

Or maybe since arriving in Tokyo.

"I know I said this before, but... It's still weird. Not being calmer then you."

[azuhi]

"Very weird," Asahi agrees, though he can't help but grin. "I kind of like it. Is this what it feels like to be you? Reliable?"

He pats Daichi on the back, between his shoulders. "You've gotten us this far. Now trust us to get you the rest of the way?"

[crowdad1]

"I can do that."

Daichi pulls back. Smiling, "What do you mean you like it?"

He means to tease, except the words don't quite stay in that category. Something about Asahi's face being that close - it sends them spinning off. Like a missed serve.

[azuhi]

To Asahi's ears, Daichi almost sounds... mad. Or maybe 'accusatory' is a better word for it; either way, Asahi tenses up a little in response to the tone.

"I just mean, it's nice to be able to support you! You don't usually ask for help. Sometimes it's like you're an adult, you know, with how much it seems like you have everything together."

[crowdad1]

"Hey - "

Daichi holds up both hands. Trying to soothe things back down. He sure doesn't feel like someone who has things together. And that's not quite it. The hands go down, and he tilts his head.

"I don't want - You to worry."

Asahi. Specifically. That sure is a thing.

[azuhi]

Asahi frowns a bit. He doesn't miss the emphasis, and it's... confusing, to say the least.

"Me?" He asks, brow furrowed. "You mean, because I seem... uh, weak-willed? I mean, I am pretty much always worried anyways, so it's really okay. I'd rather worry about stuff that's actually happening than the stuff my head makes up?"

[crowdad1]

"Hey. I've never thought you're weak."

There's a soft punch to Asahi's shoulder. Trying to get that furrow to smooth out.

"Don't you know that?"

[azuhi]

"Oof!" He quietly winces, though there is no pain; a reflex from spending too much time around Suga. "I... No, I can't really say that."

[crowdad1]

"You came back."

No one could do that without will. Daichi curls his hand around Asahi's shoulder. To make sure the words stick.

"You came back, and you're still here. You broke through the Iron Wall to do it."

[azuhi]

God. Asahi... he didn't even know he was waiting to hear those words, and yet when Daichi said them, it was like something inside of him become unknotted. He'd been back on the team for months, but other than some playful ribbing about how out of practice he was in the beginning, Daichi and Suga had never really acknowledged the fact that he'd been gone. Asahi always wondered why they took it for granted, that he'd come back, whether they knew how hard it was--

And now he has an answer. His lip quivers for a moment, but he manages not to cry, at least.

"T-Thank you, Daichi."

[crowdad1]

There's a suspicious tremor, in Asahi's words. Daichi squeezes this time. Trying to anchor him.

"We didn't - I didn't - Want to pressure you."

Although - It hurt, every time Asahi ducked away. Turned around to another hall, wouldn't make eye contact. As if their friendship depended only on volleyball. Daichi had swallowed down that pain. Telling himself it didn't matter.

He was wrong. Asahi deserved to know that, too.

"I missed you. Not just because of the team."

[azuhi]

Asahi can feel his eyes start to burn, and hopes that it's dark enough that Daichi can't tell, at least, that he might cry.

"I missed you too. Every day... it was really the loneliest month of my life. I'm glad you convinced me to come back. You, Suga, Nishinoya, the first years... I'm so grateful to all of you."

[crowdad1]

"It felt like a year."

Daichi glances away. Trying to be tactful.

"If there's ever something like that again - I don't mean volleyball, just - Anything. Please keep talking to - us?"

Me is what he meant to say.

But - for some reason - it switches out at the very last second.

[azuhi]

Asahi reaches up and scrubs his own cheek shyly. "Will do," he promises. "Maybe you'll get sick of me messaging you during exams and turn your phone off."

He's smiling, though, so obviously he means no real offense.